If you are searching a funny definitions of some words just for jokes, here is complete your search by this time.
1. Useful Words Not Found in the Dictionary
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn’t get it.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s, like, a serious bummer.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
2. Definitions Meaning
The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary… alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter… and supply a new definition!
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
4. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
5. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
6. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
7. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
8. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
3. Definitions for Parents
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when a baby doesn’t appreciate the mashed carrots.
HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.
STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
WHOOPS: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a washrag.”
4. 10 Words That Don’t Exist, But Should
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lollipop) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow ‘remove’ all the germs.
4. ELBONICS (el bon’iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’ side.
7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
8.PHONESIA (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
9. PUPKUS (pup’kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.
5. What All Those Acronyms Really Mean
ISDN = It Still Does Nothing
APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM = I Blame Microsoft
DEC = Do Expect Cuts
CA = Constant Acquisitions
CD-ROM = Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 = Obsolete Soon, Too.
SCSI = System Can’t See It
DOS = Defunct Operating System
BASIC = Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control
WWW = World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH = Most Applications Crash; If Not, The OS Hangs
6. Redefining Words
Abdicate – v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Carcinoma – n. A valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
Esplanade – v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Negligent – adj., describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph – v. To walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle – n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Bustard – n., a very rude Metrobus driver.
Coffee – n., a person who is coughed upon.
Flatulence – n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller.
Balderdash – n., a rapidly receding hairline.
Semantics – n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest’s prayer book together just before vespers.
Marionettes – n., residents of Washington D.C. who have been jerked around by the mayor.
Oyster – n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.