Hatred is a poison that fills your body. It becomes impossible to think of anything else but the object of your hatred. Sometimes if you don’t encounter the object of your hatred for a length of time, the hatred may dissipate throughout your body. You may under the impression that the feeling is gone.
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1. Without You
I HATE being patient, but I’ve got more of it than anyone else I know
I HATE having to put my self aside for something else,
but I care enough to do it
I find myself filled with a lot of that lately… this… Hate…
It sounds so weird to say it out loud… Hate…. It doesn’t have a nice feeling.
It’s just not me.
It’s not how I want to be.
It doesn’t sound right coming out of my mouth.
It doesn’t sound right swirling through my head
why is it that I find myself constantly forcing that word out of my head.
I hate that…
there it is again,
lately It creeps up on me.
I know what causes it. I’m tired.
I’m tired of being patient and putting myself second
second for you
I hate you
I don’t hate you.
I hate the power you seem to have over me
I hate that I can’t hate you.
I feel helpless,
The words echo through my head. They echo through the room.
I hate this room.
The room you so kindly took the time to build for me.
the room in my head.
once my sanctuary. – now my enemy.
I hate this room.
I’m forced to sit in this damp windowless room.
there is no way out. Not yet anyways.
I have to wait.
wait – And be patient.
come and seek me,
in the darkness I will wait,
with no memories to care,
with no purpose so gentle,
only one mission,
I am a killing beast,
missions of war are my priority,
to kill everyone,
crimson curtains and walls.
all are quiet,
not a sound..
only my breath,
this is a tragic story of one so cold,
How can someone be so Heartless?
In desperation I search, trying to find myself I look.
I search and search, for my heart is lost I search.
Too scared to run too scared to move.
Paralyzed by pain and fear I search.
I fight to live as I stager at the pain.
I sit beside me staring at what I see.
I shake my head at what I made me.
I fight to not listen at the pain I created.
The pain I will always see.
As I twitch in emptiness my eyes begin to see.
The more they find the more it hurts.
They look at me as a piece of meat.
Trembling legs, week arms, and scars from defeat.
I fight my self because of what I see.
It’s me I’m looking at and me that won’t succeed.
I stare and look, searching for answers, for that I concede.
I shred my self and my sole with my eyes.
They are too strong for me for that I am paralyzed.
I see my hands as the grasper of pain.
They are the retriever of all I have received from me.
As my hands fight back I see.
I am only what I want to be, and I still have a chance to defeat me.
I lay here to night in a dark silent room,
Feeling only pain and uncontrollable gloom.
Pictures of the blood flash in my head,
Pictures of you laying on the floor dead.
Never to come back and mess up my life,
I smile as I wipe your blood from my knife.
Your darkened red blood spills out on the street,
Your Colden heart stop DEAD in its beat,
I think back to all the pain and the hurt,
As I cover your body and spit on the dirt.
From you or you GAME I Can no longer run,
And me killing you was my turn for FUN.
Oh how they’ll cry and Oh how they’ll weep,
But I know their Sorrow is ONLY SKIN DEEP.
As I turn to walk down the cold empty street,
I walk to the rhythm your heart USED to beat.
I think Back to you lying dead on the floor
And SMILE knowing your heart beats NO MORE!!!!