Short Death Jokes for Fun Time

{YBA} Many topics of jokes are very popular, one of theme is death jokes for smile or jokes about death. There is some collection of clean short jokes on death for share to others.

1. Last Wishes

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests.

First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.

“Bloomingdales!” the rabbi exclaimed. “Why Bloomingdales?”

“Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.

2. Suddenness of Death

The good Father was warning his listeners about the suddenness of death. “Before another day is ended,” he thundered, “somebody in this parish will die.”

Seated in the front row was a little old Irishman who laughed out loud at this statement.

Very angry, the priest said to the jovial old man, “What’s so funny?”

“Well!” spoke up the oldster, “I’m not a member of this parish.

3. Two People – Joke on Death

A woman and her young daughter were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother one Sunday. As they passed through the cemetery on the way back to their car, the little girl said, “Mommy? Do they ever bury in the same grave?”

“Oh no, of course not, dear!” the mother replied. “Why on earth would you think that?”

“Well, that one back there said ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.

4. My Last Will…

The lawyer was reading out the Will of Sam Rosenblatt, a rich man, to those people mentioned in the Will:

“To my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in the rough times, as well as the good, the house and $2 million.

“To my daughter Sahra, who looked after me in illness and kept the business going, the yacht, the business, and $1 million.

” To my nephew Irving, my 2 Jaguars, and my winter home in Aspen.

“And to my cousin Morris, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would not remember him in my Will, you were wrong again Morris,

So Hello Morris.

5. Double Death

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees’ well being, asked sympathetically, What’s the matter?.

The blonde replies, Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. “Why don’t you go home for the day, we aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest.

The blonde very calmly states, No, I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. If you need anything, just let me know.

Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying, He rushes out to her, asking, What’s so bad now. Are you gonna be ok?.

No, exclaims the blonde. I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too

6. A Lawyer’s Wife Dies

A lawyer’s wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads, Here lies Phyllis, wife of Murray, L.L.D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice.

Suddenly, Murray bursts into tears. His brother says, You should cry, pulling a stunt like this,

Through his tears, Murray croaks, “You don’t understand! They left out the phone number.

7. Miriam Was Dying

Miriam was dying and on her deathbed, she gave final instructions to her husband Sidney. “Sidney, you’ve been so good to me all these years. I know you never even thought about another woman. But now that I’m going, I want you to marry again as soon as is possible and I want you to give your new wife all my expensive clothes.

I can’t do that, darling, Sidney said. You’re a size 16 and she’s only a 10.

8. Irish Obituary

Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom to pay for her husband’s obituary. She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word and he remembered Pete and wasn’t it too bad about him passing away.

She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. But she wrote out the obituary, “Pete died.”

The newsman said he thought old Pete deserved more and he’d give her three more words at no charge.

Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and rewrote the obituary: “Pete died. Boat for sale.

9. Last Will And Testament

A lawyer read the will of a rich man to the deceased’s family,

To my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave the house and $2 million.

The lawyer continued, To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million.

The lawyer concluded, And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in
my will – well you are wrong: Hi Dan.

10. Ole Died Jokes Only

Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.

Lena replied, You yust put ‘Ole died’.

The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, That’s it? Just ‘Ole died?’ Surely, there must be something more you’d like to say about Ole. If its money you’re concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more.

So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, “O.K. You put ‘Ole died. Boat for sale.