Happy Quotes Funny and Humorous Collection

{YBA} I hope you’ll Enjoy Funny Quotes and Sayings, Whenever you do feel sad or alone or getting bored, read these famous funny sayings. I am certain after reading these funny quotes you will smile out loud, all your worries and stress wiil vanish and You’ll feel happy and ecstatic. I have collected these great funny sayings from various resources.

1. Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is “Probably because of something you did.

2. Jack Handey
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to.  Then, on the way out, slam the door.

3. Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

4. Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
I don’t think I’m alone when I say I’d like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

5. Colonel Flagg
Nobody can get the truth out of me because even I don’t know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion.

6. M. C. Escher
I might be in the basement. I’ll go upstairs and check.
We adore chaos because we love to produce order.
I don’t use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough.

7. Jack Handey
If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you’re in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don’t know what to tell you.

8. Jack Handey, “Deep Thoughts”
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.

9. Jack Handey
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.

10. Jack Handey
I hope that after I die, people will say of me, “That guy sure owed me a lot of money.”

11. Anon
If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started.

12. Simon Barnes, “The Times”
There was an advert I rather liked. Devastated woman, “I’ve just seen the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” Husband, “Never mind, love, it’s not the end of the world.”

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