Funny Jokes about Business

{YBA} Latest collection posting on Jokes about Business, all jokes and dialogs are just for fun and happiness, Read and share to your friends and dost.

1. Unpaid Bill Business Jokes

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”

The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.

2. Are You a Professional? – Just Business Jokes

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a “professional.”

Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Open the refrigerator put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. Wrong Answer!

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory.

OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do
you manage it?

Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.

3. Dear Milkman Business Jokes

Dear Milkman, I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one.

Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk.

Please don’t leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.

Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I’ve been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

Sorry about yesterday’s note. I didn’t mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.

When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you ‘to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle.

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me.

Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don’t want any milk.

My back door is open. Please put milk in ‘fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table, because we want to play bingo tonight.

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday or is it today?.

When you come with the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don’t leave any milk.

No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.

4. Eggplants Business Jokes

A grocer put up a sign that read Eggplants, 25¢ each — three for a dollar.

All day long, customers came in exclaiming:
“Don’t be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!”

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, “Aren’t you going to fix the mistake on your sign?”

“What mistake?” the grocer asked. Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant.

5. Business Jokes Call Center Business Jokes

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
7 days a week.

He responded, Is that Eastern or Pacific time?.

Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, Uh, Pacific.

6. Customer Service as Business Jokes

I’m not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance … she leaned over and pushed me.

7. Retail Experience and Business Jokes

Rossi was the manager of an upscale men’s wear store in a wealthy section of town and was interviewing Abe for the recently advertised salesman role.

Rossi looks at Abe’s resume and notices that Abe has never worked in retail before.

Rossi says to Abe, What chutzpah, if you don’t mind me saying. For someone with no retail experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.

Well I suppose I am, Abe replies, but you must understand that the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing.

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