Humorous Funny Jokes of Computer Technology

{YBA} These best and latest collection of computer jokes for relax and happiness are in English, Hindi and Urdu Languages. Keeping the smile

1. It Just Shows Stars

A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password. No, it’s not the usual caps-lock problem.

The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars, she says.

Those asterisks are to protect you, the Help Desk technician explains, so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read your password.

“Yeah,” she says, but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me.

2. Behind Schedule

The program manager couldn’t grasp the idea of gathering requirements at the start of a project. At a project kickoff meeting, which he had neglected to actually invite the customer to, we had a lot of discussion around what the software we were creating was supposed to do, says a programmer on the team. I suggested putting together a requirements teleconference with the customer to clarify their ideas and goals. PM’s response? I was told we were already behind schedule and didn’t have time to meet with the customer.

3. Cuff Links

The computer company, where my wife works, distributed a corporate-clothing catalogue that included a pair of cuff links. One was inscribed Ctrl (Control) and the other Esc (Escape), just as they look on a computer keyboard.

They would make a good present for any man, my wife commented to a colleague, if only to remind him of the two things he can never have.

4. What do you call a blonde with a brand new PC?

Q: What do you call a blonde with a brand new PC?

A: A dumb Terminal.

5. Windows 98 for Jokes of Computer

Customer: I installed Windows 98 on my computer, and it doesn’t work.

Tech Support: Ok, what happens when you turn on your computer?

Customer: Boy, are you listening? I said it doesn’t work.

Tech Support: Well, what happens when you TRY to turn it on?

Customer: Look, I’m not a computer person. Talk regular English, not this computer talk, ok?

Tech Support: Ok, let’s assume your computer is turned off, and you just sat down in front of it, and want to use it. What do you do?

Customer: Don’t talk like I’m stupid, boy. I turn it on.

Tech Support: And then what happens?

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech Support: Does anything appear on your monitor? I mean, the TV part.

Customer: The same thing I saw last time I tried.

Tech Support: “And that is what?

Customer: “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?

Tech Support: “Yes, sir. What is on your screen?

Customer: “A bunch of little pictures.

Tech Support: “Ok, in the upper left corner, do you see ‘My Computer’.

Customer: “No, all I see is that little red circle thing with the chunk out of it.

Tech Support: “You mean an apple?

Customer: “I guess it kind of looks like an apple.

6. Computer Women and Funny Jokes

Woman of difficult access.

SERVER woman:
Always busy when you need her.

WINDOWS woman:
Everyone knows that she can’t do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

EXCEL woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

She is not worth for anything, but at least she is fun!

RAM woman:
She forgets everything you say when you disconnect her.

HARD-DISK woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

She makes horrible things look beautiful.

USER woman:
She messes up everything she does and she asks always more than she needs.

CD-ROM woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS woman:
Also known as “wife”, when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t try to uninstall her you will lose everything.

7. Customer Mistakes with Technical Support

Customer: I don’t use DOS. What would happen if I deleted that directory?

Friend: Does Windows 98 support Linux?

Customer: (angrily) You said I would get 98 windows with this computer. Where are they?

Customer: How much do Windows cost?

Tech Support: Windows costs about $100.

Customer: Oh, that’s kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?

Tech Support: “May I ask what operating system you are running today?

Customer: A computer.

Tech Support: How can I help you?

Customer: Well, everything is working fine, but there is one program that is not.

Tech Support: What program is it?

Customer: It’s called ‘MSDOS Prompt’.

Tech Support: What’s wrong with it?

Customer: “Well, I click on it, a black screen shows up with NOTHING but a sign that reads: ‘C:\WINDOWS>’, and it just sits there and doesn’t do anything. I have to turn off the system to go back to Windows.

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