Funny Clean Insurance Jokes for Happiness & Joy
If you have interest for life insurance or auto insurance or health insurance, you may search another sites. Here are some selected insurance jokes and jokes about insurance and insurance jokes for fun.
1. Military Life Insurance
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling
insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’ sales pitch.
Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has
to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000.
Now, he concluded, which group do you think they are going to send into battle first?
2. Relaxing Weekends
Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.
Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV:
Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package.
3. GI Insurance
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.
Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’s sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000.
Now, he concluded, “which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle
first?
4. Insurance Claim
A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against …. get this …. fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire
stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet
to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in “a series of small fires.”
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion.
The man sued, and won,
In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be “unacceptable fire,” it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge’s ruling and paid the man $15,000 for
the rare cigars he lost in “the fires.”
After the man cashed his check, however, the
insurance company had him arrested… on 24
counts of arson!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and
sentenced to 24 consecutive one year terms.
5. A Lawyer and an Engineer Were Fishing
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, I’m
here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.
That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. I’m here because my house and
all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. How do you start a flood? he asked.
6. An Insurance Salesman & a Farmer
An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a
farmer.
Look at it this way, he said finally. How would your wife carry on if you should die?
Well, drawled the weather-beaten man, “I don’t reckon that’d be any
concern of mine – long as she behaves herself while I’m alive.
7. Insurance for His New Motorcycle
A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. “Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?”
“I’ve got a kickstand,” the prospect replied. “Is that the same thing?
8. Sleep On It
Don’t let me pressure you, the life insurance salesman said. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake up in the morning, you can give me a call.
9. It Wasn’t My Fault
The ingenuity of drivers involved in accidents, in seeking to assert their innocence, or at least excuse their errors, is apparently inexhaustible, judging from this genuine selection of excerpts from insurance claims.
I blew my horn, but it would not work as it had been stolen.
I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian, and the old gentleman was taken to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.
I thought the side window was down, but it was up, as I found when I put my head through it.
A cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed that the cow was half-witted.
A bull was standing nearby, and a fly must have tickled him, as he gored my car.
She suddenly saw me, lost her head, and we met.
A truck backed through my windscreen into my wife’s face.
I ran into a shop window, and sustained injuries to my wife.
I misjudged a lady crossing the street.
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house, and collided with a tree I haven’t got.
I left my car unattended for a minute, when by accident or design, it ran away.
The other car collided with mine, without giving any warning of its intentions.
