Really Funny Definitions of Life

We are posting some selected really very funny definitions of life, you can read and share to others, and please send us if you have more nice jokes or words on life definition collection.

Definitions – Presentation Transcript

1. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

2. Classic: books which people praise, but do not read.

3. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

4. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

5. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

6. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

7. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

8. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

9. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

10. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

11. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

12. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

13. Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

14. Divorce: Future tense of marriage

15. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.

16. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

17. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

18. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power. ..

19. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

20. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.

28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after?

30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

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