Fresh Fast Food Jokes for Kids
We are quite sure that you will like our latest and sweet food jokes and jokes of food collection. Read and share the jokes on food and jokes about food. Enjoy with others!
1. Greens
A guy has celery sticking out of one ear, lettuce out of the other, and a zucchini up his nose.
He goes to the doctor and asks him what’s wrong.
The doctor tells him, “Well, for one thing, you’re not eating right.
2. The Missing Years
Moshe was eating in a Chinese restaurant and was chatting to his Chinese waiter.
Moshe commented upon what a wise people the Chinese were.
“Yes,” replied the waiter, “we’re wise because our culture is 4,000 years old. But Jewish people are also very wise, are they not?”
Moshe replied, “Yes, we are. Our culture is 5,000 years old.”
The waiter was surprised to hear this. “That can’t be true,” he replied, “where did your people eat for a thousand years?
3. He Can Believe It’s Not Butter
EAST BERNARD, TX (DWPI) — Local barber Merton Storch revealed today that he can believe that the margarine spread “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!” is not, in fact, butter. “I think it’s obvious,” said Storch.
“Butter is a creamy spread, while this crap is more like a space-age polymer.” A spokesperson from Lilton Foods, responded by saying, “Well, I know *I* can’t believe it’s not butter.” This is not the first time Storch has made a public food-related statement. In 1994, he held a press conference to announce he thought everything wasn’t, in fact, “better with Blue Bonnet on it,” and even demonstrated using food items such as ice cream, Jell-O, and what appeared to be a large squid.
Reported by Rob Winchell
The Daily Weekly
4. A Dining Experience
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
“Oh my, I am so sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. “Let me buy you dessert to make it up to you.”
They enjoy a wonderful dessert together, and afterwards, the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap…and stay for breakfast the next morning.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything has been incredible! “You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?” “No,” she replies…
“You just happened to catch my eye.”
5. Rice Preference
The young woman really thought she’d been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage.
One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant. As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, “So . . . how do you like your rice? Boiled? Steamed? Or fried?”
Without missing a beat, she looked over her menu at him and replied clearly, “Thrown.”
6. It’s Called “Fast” Food
It’s called “fast” food because you’re supposed to eat it really fast. Otherwide, you might actually taste it.
7. Commercial Reward
At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for John to comment on my first attempt at homemade cinnamon rolls.
After several minutes with no reaction, I asked, “If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?”
Without looking up from his newspaper John replied, “About 10 years.”
8. Blonde and the Turkey
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him!”
“Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.”
“No, mother,” the young woman laments. “I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about the price.”
“Well, that is being miserly,” the mother agreed, “Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars.”
“No, mother it wasn’t the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket.”
“Airplane ticket…. What did you need an airplane ticket for?”
“Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the back and it said, ‘PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,’ so I flew to Alaska.
9. Anniversary Night
On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.
“How romantic!” she thought.
Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it in a colossal mess.
Her harried husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway. “Almost ready!” he vowed. “Sorry it took me so long — I had to refill the pepper shaker.”
“Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?”
“More’n an hour, I reckon. Wasn’t easy stuffin’ it through those dumb little holes.
10. Counting Calories
Calories can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise.
- Beating around the bush……………..75
- Jumping to conclusions……………..100
- Climbing the walls…………………150
- Swallowing your pride……………….50
- Passing the buck……………………25
Throwing your weight around (depending on your weight)…50-300
- Dragging your heels………………..100
- Pushing your luck………………….250
- Making mountains out of molehills……500
- Hitting the nail on the head…………50
- Wading through paperwork……………300
- Bending over backwards………………75
- Jumping on the bandwagon……………200
- Balancing the books…………………25
- Running around in circles…………..350
- Eating crow……………………….225
- Tooting your own horn……………….25
- Climbing the ladder of success………750
- Pulling out the stops……………….75
- Adding fuel to the fire…………….160
- Wrapping it up at the day’s end………12
To which you may want to add your own favorite activities, including:
- Opening a can of worms ……………..50
- Putting your foot in your mouth……..300
- Starting the ball rolling……………90
- Going over the edge…………………25
- Picking up the pieces after…………350
