Your Respectable Grandmother Jokes – Funny Collection
Everyone have respect for his/her grandmother respect, many persons are searching for grandmother jokes and jokes about grandmothers. so we are posting selected jokes on grandmother, mostly searches are grandma jokes, grand mom jokes, grandmother joke, jokes on grand-mom.
1. Grandma’s Home
When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. “Is that your
grandmother?” I asked.
Yes,” Chris said. She’s come to visit us for Christmas.
How nice,” I said. “Where does she live?.
At the airport,” Chris replied. “Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her.
2. Grandma’s Colors
I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and she was always correct, but it was fun
for me, so I continued.
At last, she headed for the door, saying sagely, Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself.
3. It’s a Girl
Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was elated when he called me at work with the news of my grandchild’s birth. I took down all the statistics and turned to relate it all to my co-workers.
I’m a grandmother, I declared. “It’s a baby girl, and she weighs five pounds.”
When was she born? someone asked.
Recalling the date my son told me, I stopped, looked at the calendar, and said in amazement, Tomorrow.
4. Grandma’s Visit
Little Tony was so happy to see his grandmother that he ran up and gave her a big hug. “I’m so happy to see you, grandma. Now daddy will have to do that trick he’s been promising to do!”
His grandmother was curious. What trick is that, sweetie?.
The little guy grinned at her. I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the gosh-darn walls if you came to visit us again.
5. Queen Size
A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased.
He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words “Queen Size”.
He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed,
Look Grandma, you wear the same size as our bed.
6. Water Gun
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”
Mom smiled and then replied…..”I remember.
7. Soldier’s Coffee
This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.
When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men, and she asked him why they were there.
Her grandson replied, On television, they say, ‘The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.
8. A Walk by the Sea
A young boy and his doting grandmother were walking along the sea shore when a huge wave appeared out of nowhere, sweeping the child out to sea. The horrified woman fell to her knees, raised her eyes to the heavens and begged the Lord to return her beloved grandson. And, another wave reared up and deposited the stunned child on the sand. The grandmother looked the boy over carefully. He was fine.
But still she stared up angrily toward the heavens. “When we came,” she snapped indignantly, he had a hat.
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. You’ve got so many freckles, there’s no place to paint, a girl in the line said to the little fella.
Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child’s cheek. Freckles are beautiful.
The boy looked up, Really?.
Of course, said the grandmother. Why, just name me one thing that’s prettier than freckles.
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma’s face, and softly whispered, “Wrinkles.”